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Assorted Bob Dog Bob Uncategorized

Ozzy, 2002-2016

Hiking with Ozzy at Stroud's Run in Athens, OH. This is one of the last long hikes we went on ...
Hiking with Ozzy at Stroud’s Run in Athens, OH. This is one of the last long hikes we went on …

He was a good dog.

No, really. A great dog. The last time I sat with tears soaking my keyboard like this, I was writing about the demise of Gilligan, the black-and-tan coonhound from hell.

But Ozzy was different. When he was bounding toward the woods, high on whatever scent had seized his canine brain, he would actually pause when I barked his name. After a moment of indecision, he’d lope back, tail wagging broadly, lazily, as he sidled up to me to see what adventure was next and why I had demanded his presence.

Not Gilly. When Gilly caught the scent of freedom, he was gone like a crack addict after a single hit. No looking back. That proved his demise in the end. And maybe it’s why Ozzy lived to the ripe old age of 14 before Lara and I made that most difficult of decisions and said goodbye to him at a vet clinic in brooding, overcast Athens, Ohio, on Nov. 19, 2016. The cancer had withered him away, leaving bones and fur where his hips had once been.

Ozzy and Gilly hanging out on our porch at the lake house in Knoxville.
Ozzy and Gilly hanging out on our porch at the lake house in Knoxville.

Ozzy was the sole survivor of my dog dynasty. After Gilly and Xena died in Knoxville, he and Mully joined us for the adventure to D.C., where Mully finally succumbed to his 18+ years of annoying everyone around him, particularly our umbrella cockatoo, Sydney.

I found Ozzy on a freezing New Year’s Eve in Knoxville, TN. Some piece of shit had dumped him in the parking lot of Melton Hill Park, and as I walked back to my truck with faithful Xena plodding along beside me, I thought Ozzy was a fox pacing the parking lot, until I saw him bound up to each car that pulled in, his tail wagging, hoping his human had returned.

Ozzy and Xena wrestle at our Hardin Valley House on the night that I found him at Melton Hill Park in Knoxville.
Ozzy and Xena wrestle at our Hardin Valley House on the night that I found him at Melton Hill Park in Knoxville.

When Xena and I reached him, the two of them hit it off immediately, playing and frolicking as I tried to load Xena into the back of my truck. I knew that I was already at my dog quota … Xena, Kesey, Crystal. It seemed unlikely I’d be able to convince Lara to up it to four.

Until she met Ozzy. Like me and Xena, she was smitten instantly. She even came up with his name, a tribute to The Osbournes reality show that was all the rage on MTV at the time.

Some of my fondest memories of Ozzy are from Melton Hill Lake, roaming those rolling, grassy hills in a pack, he and Gilligan the advance guard, Xena and I lumbering along behind. When I’d stop at one of the boat ramps to toss a stick out into the fog-shrouded water, Ozzy would drift off, searching for rabbits, possums, whatever. He’d leave the lake to the water dogs, keeping his paws planted firmly on dry land. Occasionally, out of the corner of my eye, I’d see Ozzy hitting the afterburners in pursuit of a rabbit.

Ozzy slices through the fields at Melton Hill Lake, in search of something to chase.
Ozzy slices through the fields at Melton Hill Lake, in search of something to chase.

As I scrolled through endless rows of my digital photo collection, embedded in Apple’s granite Photo app like coruscated memories, I started plucking out random images of Osbourne. More often that not, he is looking directly at me and my camera, always eager to win my attention and earn my praise, waiting for instructions on what to do next. He was one of the best-behaved, well-mannered dogs I’ve ever encountered. A true gentleman.

Ozzy and Lara at Frozen Head State Park in Tennessee.
Ozzy and Lara at Frozen Head State Park in Tennessee.

I’ll take his ashes back to Melton Hill this summer. Maybe sooner. And I’ll probably save some to spread at Rock Creek Park in D.C. next time I’m in town. After Gilly and Xena died, Lara, Mully, Sydney, Ozzy and I moved to D.C., where we lived for four fabulous years. Ozzy and I took epic hikes in Rock Creek Park on weekends, and we even strolled down to the National Mall one sunny afternoon, where he was more obsessed with the squirrels than monuments to America.

Ozzy wasn’t a natural alpha dog. It wasn’t until the pack had dwindled and disappeared that it was his turn. But he wore it well. He was my best bud and constant companion while we were in D.C. and after we moved to Athens. He was a damned good dog. One of the best. I’ll never forget him.

An exhausted Ozzy sleeps on the morning after Gilly's death. The two of them ran all night, with GIlly getting hit by a car and Ozzy returning home alone with bloody feet.
An exhausted Ozzy sleeps on the morning after Gilly’s death. The two of them ran all night, with Gilly getting hit by a car and Ozzy returning home alone with bloody feet.
Ozzy on our front porch in Athens. This was taken just a week or so before he died.
Ozzy on our front porch in Athens. This was taken just a week or so before he died.
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Assorted Bob Dog Bob

RIP Mully Jingles, 1997(?)-2013

mully

 

 

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Assorted Bob Prankster Bob

Do you own a small dog?

Mully, the small dog.To my chagrin, I do. That’s why I thought it odd when several messages were left on our phone. The messages went something like this and came from a “wireless” number:

“Survey 2010. Do you own a small dog?”

Then silence as they awaited an answer, not knowing it was voice mail.

So the next time it rang, I picked up and enthusiastically said, “Yes, yes I do own a small dog.” I wanted to talk about my little Mullikins. To tell them what a fine small dog he is. And to figure out what their scam was.

But the line went dead after I answered. Maybe Mully wasn’t good enough.

Or maybe I shouldn’t have answered at all. The Consumerist postulates it’s a ruse to get a recording of you saying “yes” to something so the scammer can use it to prove you authorized something else.

So if you get a call like this, keep your small dog to yourself and refuse to share this secret information. Me? I’m waiting to see what the scammer will saddle me with based on a recording of me enthusiastically saying “Yes, yes I do own a small dog …”