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El Gringo Feo Travel Bob

Rain, pizza, pit vipers and John Waters

(To read El Gringo Feo’s Costa Rica Diary from the beginning, start here.)

Saturday, September 1

I spent most of yesterday writing, or more accurately, rewriting the first chapter of The Book. I’m really happy with where it landed, but it’s just a second draft. It still needs a lot of work. And about 20 more chapters.

The rain let up around noon, so I ventured to Pizza Time, a nearby restaurant I’ve been meaning to try. It’s the real deal. I had a vegetarian calzone and a caprese salad that both were excellent. I really liked the place. It’s a short walk from here (not much is) and they have wireless. Might become a new haunt.

I finally finished Jack Ewing’s Where Tapirs and Jaguars Once Roamed: Ever Evolving Costa Rica, which I highly recommend. He has a scientific mind and a writer’s gift for description. His anecdotes about local people are fascinating. More than once I put the book down wondering how folks can be so mentally tough when facing physical adversity.

In one section, he tells the story of Alvaro Mesa, who is bitten on the arm by a tericiopelo, a type of pit viper. There are a few types of them here, and they’re incredibly nasty. After the bite the swelling starts almost immediately, and his friends try to get his wristwatch off:

The swelling had enjulfed the watch band in flesh. When Daniel gave up trying to remove it, his hands were covered with blood. It was oozing from Alvaro’s pores.

PigPen after his encounter with a rattler on Skyline Drive. This was a few days after the bite …

I once had a lab cross, PigPen, who was bitten by a rattlesnake on Skyline Drive in VIrginia. It took about an hour, all in, to get him to the vet, who told me the real danger at that point was infection. Snake bites can cause skin necrosis that leads to a lot of nasty infections and complications. If PigPen was still alive by the time he got to the vet, no need for antivenom. The vet did hook him up with antibiotics, and the poor dog’s leg swelled to twice its normal size. But within a week or two he was back to normal.

Pit vipers are much worse.

As his friends scramble to find a way to get Mesa to a doctor, they come across his archenemy, Eliecer Castro, who has a Jeep:

Eliecer Castro looked at the swollen form of Alvaro Mesa sitting at the edge of the road, blood dripping from his nose and dribbling down his shirt.

The sight was disturbing enough to prompt Castro to provide a ride despite his past differences with Mesa. It takes four hours from the time he’s bitten to the time he gets medical treatment. And it still isn’t enough to save his arm, which he loses to infection and gangrene.

That’s why Jeff strongly advised against bushwhacking here. I’ve even noticed that when someone’s running a weedwhacker they tend to armor up like a medieval knight — full face mask, chaps, the works. It’s like going to war.

As an aside, the most fascinating thing in that pit viper story (I guess I buried the lede here) is that after the bite, one of the men’s pregnant wife approaches and Mesa freaks out.

God, no! Stop her! Don’t let her get near me! If she gets too close I’ll die on the spot.

Apparently, it’s a common belief that being near a pregnant woman will instantly klll a snake bite victim. How strange. I’d love to know the origins of that …


Recommendation: Last night, I listened to a 2014 New York Public Library podcast interview with John Waters that was uproariously funny. Somehow, the sounds of the jungle all around me only added to the hilarity. Waters was discussing Carsick, the book he wrote about hitchicking across America, and it’s everything you’d expect from the man who made Devine famous. Definitely worth checking out.

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El Gringo Feo Travel Bob

Red sky at morning …

Red sky at morning, viewed from the Treehouse.

(To read El Gringo Feo’s Costa Rica Diary from the beginning, start here.)

Friday, August 31

After a restless night, I awoke to a scene from an alien abduction. A rosé glow pulsed outside and the howler monkeys were in full flail, donkey-braying to greet the day. I got up, went to the deck and looked out. My ocean view was nothing but red sky …

How’s that for a 5:15 a.m. wakeup call?

True to form, the red sky gave way to rain, which is falling gently as I write. I ran down to the kitchen long enough to make coffee, slice up a papaya and peel a few bananas. This will be a good day to hunker down and work on The Book. Based on reading and research yesterday, I’m rethinking the first chapter, especially the nature of the protagonist, perhaps taking a darker turn.

Not much else to report. And that’s good. So here’s a gratuitous dog picture. This guy beamed in next to me at the beach the other day while I was sitting on a log watching the waves. I didn’t even hear him approach. I just turned around and there he was. After realizing I wasn’t a Gringo with Food, he padded off toward his next mark. Adiós, dude.

Random beach dog.
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El Gringo Feo Music Bob Travel Bob

Praying to AirPod Jesus for a miracle resurrection

(To read El Gringo Feo’s Costa Rica Diary from the beginning, start here.)

Thursday, August 30

I love my AirPods.

Apple’s wireless ear buds changed the way I listen to music and podcasts, probably quadrupling my consumption and providing endless diversion, whether I’m plodding along the streets of Athens with my aging great Pyrenees or bouncing along the beaches of Uvita en route to he Whale’s Tail.

But in some previous life, I apparently pissed off Neptune, and he sent one of his minions to this mortal realm to exact his vengeance upon me: the clothes washer.

I was getting ready to go down to the kitchen/bar area last night to write and read, gathering up the assorted paraphernalia required for that: iPhone, laptop, flashlight, water bottle and AirPods. The water was off again most of the afternoon, so I also stripped the bed and and gathered up my dirty clothes to do laundry now that it had been restored.

Bad move.

I’ve already had one unfortunate encounter that started this way. Back in Ohio, I managed to wash my iPhone, and despite thinking I’d delivered a death blow, a bag of rice, prayers to iPhone Jesus and several days of rest resuscitated it, though it’s a tad punch-drunk.

This time I’m not as hopeful. I’m not sure how the AirPods ended up in the washing machine with my laundry, but my best guess is I set them on the bed and when I gathered up the sheets I didn’t notice the white AirPod case sitting there. I found them when I went to move the laundry to the dryer.

I unleashed a bilingual stream of expletives (the only sense, sadly, in which I am bilingual). I cursed the washing machine. I slapped myself upside the head. And I hurled abuse at Neptune, that watery Roman bastard who was the agent of my demise.

¡Cabrón!

OK. I’m being dramatic. But I loved those AirPods. You don’t realize what a pain in the ass it is being tethered to your phone while listening to music until you aren’t fighting with that stupid wire.

So I did the only thing I reasonable person would do in this situation. I got out a bag of rice. Googled around for other AirPod resurrection stories (there are several, but there also are heartbreaking tales of death by drowning), and I beseeched AirPod Jesus (and the Buddha and Allah and every other god I could think to invoke) to grant me one more miracle.

After a few days in the rice, I’ll see if my prayers are answered. If not, I was pessimistic enough to assume something might happen to my beloved AirPods and packed a backup pair of wired Apple ear buds just in case.


As I write this morning, I’m nursing more blisters, this time on the bottoms of both feet. I went on a rambling walk yesterday, stopping at the grocery store, the farmer’s market, the beach and a little breakfast place that turned out to be ho-hum but had wireless. Lots of dirt roads. Lots of rocky, uneven surfaces. About 6 miles worth. But no regrets. Those blisters will heal.

I did see lots of cool wildlife, including:

  • The largest iguana I’ve ever seen, sunning itself on the gravel parking area here at PurVita. After admiring him from a distance, I went up to the kitchen to cut up papaya and had a thought: Maybe Mr. Iguana would like a chunk of papaya. So I took a piece and walked toward him, intending to toss it off to the side to see if he’d show any interest. He freaked, thrashing off loudly through the fruit trees, thudding against the side of the building in an attempt to climb it and ricocheting back across the lot through the pineapple plants to safety. I’m really hoping I didn’t run him off for good. He was a gorgeous, Rolling-Rock-bottle green. In researching him, I’m pretty certain he was a green iguana, and apparently he wasn’t full grown. They get up to 6 feet and as they get older that brilliant green dulls, a process that already was under way.
  • When I exited the Treehouse in the morning, I noticed some sort of chewed up, or perhaps digested, berries scattered on the deck right outside the door. I looked up and saw a bat bedded down for the day. He was about 10 feet above me and hunkered, so I couldn’t see him well enough for an ID, but I’m guessing he was a long-nosed bat or maybe Pallas’ nectar bat. Leaning toward the former.
  • And the usual suspects. The yellow flycatchers have grown accustomed to me, completely unfazed when I walk by whistling at them. I love watching their acrobatics as they grab insects mid-flight. Howler monkeys mourned last night’s sunset and celebrated this morning’s sunrise. An agouti scampered across the driveway. And I spent time watching my favorite gecko hunt bugs on the sliding screen door. At night I often hear him chirping as I drift off to sleep.

Last night’s sunset was subdued but not disappointing.

Yesterday marked my two-week anniversary here (Hace dos semanas que yo llego in Costa Rica). It’s been fantastic. I’m learning tons of new things and feeling very productive for someone who spends his days reading books in a hammock. Last night, after two previous evenings of deluge, there was no rain so I hiked up to the shack for evening vespers. It was a subdued sunset but beautiful nonetheless. And it was cool to see the Whale’s Tail at high tide from this vantage after having walked it the other day at low tide. As the bats took flight, I wondered if one of them was my new roommate.

Shanti, Shanti, Shanti …