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Books El Gringo Feo Music Bob Travel Bob

Trueno y relámpago

(To read El Gringo Feo’s Costa Rica Diary from the beginning, start here.)

Saturday, September 22

Since I injured my ankle, I’ve let my Spanish studies slip. I get the occasional painful nag from Duolingo reminding me my progress is nonexistent. And I haven’t been working through the exercises in my workbook.

I am picking up some new words and phrases here and there, though. Sadly, most of them have to do with ways to describe ankle pain (me duele el tobillo) or to explain that I injured my ankle (me lastimé el tobillo) or the words for sprained ankle (esguince de tobillo).

Damned tobillo.

I’ve been on a pain killer/anti-inflammatory that’s working well but is decimating my stomach, so I reached out via Whats App to the Tico doctor who makes house calls to ask if there’s an alternative. True to form, he pinged me back quickly, within 30 minutes, asking a few questions via text and then he called me. He recommended something that will help my stomach handle the drug and said he’d send a prescription via What’s App. About an hour later, the prescription showed up, along with a profuse apology for taking so long.

I laughed and responded, “no problema.”

So with my prescription on my phone, I called the taxi and set off for la farmacia, figuring I could hit el supermercado at the same time. Never hurts to stock up. The cab let me off at the pharmacy, and from there I hobbled across the street to the grocery store, where I stocked up on fruits and vegetables, including a juice box of red wine and other makings for spaghetti sauce. (I’m hoping Gian will drop off some of Sara’s bread today, and I want to have a sauce on hand that’s worthy of those glorious carbs.)

As I was checking out, I told the clerk in Spanish that I needed to recharge my phone card, which you have to do in person at a store using cash. She plugged in the info, took my money and then told me, also in Spanish, to check my phone for the text from Kolbi confirming the credit had been added.

It was so rapid fire I didn’t catch what she was wanting me to to. Generally, they just hand me the receipt and assume it all worked. Which to date, it has.

Through hand gestures, grunts and broken Spanish I finally got it, checked the phone and sure enough, there was my text.

“Lo siento,” I said sheepishly to the clerk. “Soy solamente un Gringo tonto.” (Sorry, I’m just a dumb gringo.) She started laughing, and one of her cohorts who overheard also started laughing. I’m assuming they encounter more than their share of dumb gringos in this tourist town. I’ve found that’s a great way to defuse situations where my Spanish just isn’t cutting it. I suspect they’re used to getting the opposite response.

Why don’t you speak English?

I always try to be respectful of the fact that I’m in their country. It goes a long way toward generating goodwill. For instance, I never walk in and ask, “Do you speak English.” I back into it, greeting them in Spanish and trying my best to operate in Spanish until the inevitable flood of words swamps me. Then I confess, No hablo español muy bien and we work toward some degree of mutual understanding.

On the way home, I got a quick Spanish lesson from my cab driver, who speaks some English but clearly is more comfortable in Spanish. It had started raining hard, and lightning was erupting all around us.

“Relámpago,” he said after one spectacular flash.

“Ahh,” I replied. “In ingles, es lightning.”

As I repeated “relámpago” over a few times trying to commit it to memory, he did the same with “lightning.” When I got home, I went to Google Translate (amazing resource) to look up thunder: trueno.

So I sat on the deck, reading the final chapter of Under the Volcano while el trueno y relámpago raged all around me. That proved to be a perfect accompaniment to the finale of this beautiful, dismal, tumultuous book. I guess it’s no surprise that Malcolm Lowry died before he turned 50 of alcohol-related misadventure. He definitely knew what he was writing about. But this isn’t just a book about dipsomania. I love the descriptions of Mexico and how layered the novel is. After I finished it, I started Googling around for analysis, realizing there was a lot going on there I was missing, and I found a wonderful resource, The Malcolm Lowry Project, a digital extension of Chris Ackerley’s A Companion to ‘Under the Volcano.’ Sadly, the site uses frames, which I’ve always found to be a horrendously kludgy way to organize digital information. So I extracted the text from each frame and pasted into a doc on my computer so I could read it offline. Turns out, there’s 200,000+ words of analysis there. Damn. It was invaluable, though, especially for the penultimate chapter, where Yvonne is killed. I love Lowry’s final sentence in that chapter.

Yvonne felt herself suddenly gathered upwards and borne towards the stars, through eddies of stars scattering aloft with ever widening circles like rings on water, among which now appeared, like a flock of diamond birds flying softly and steadily toward Orion, the Pleiades …

I have to admit there was a tear in my eye as I just transcribed that. Lowry does such an incredible job showing us the world through this character’s eyes, her desire to flee to British Columbia to live by the sea with the Consul, her sundered dreams of being a movie star, her college obsession with astronomy, the allusion to the “hurricane of immense and gorgeous butterflies” that greeted her ship when she arrived in Acapulco in a final effort to save her marriage and to save the Consul from himself. There’s a sense of transcendence there that I didn’t fully anticipate, even though I’d read the book before many years ago. Of course, the Consul’s experiences in the final chapter are more Dante’s Inferno than return to stardust. Under the Volcano, indeed.

After that light reading, I dialed Kamasi Washington’s Heaven and Earth into my earphones, keeping the volume such that I could hear my howler monkeys arguing with their rivals across the road while birds clucked into their roosts,  insects buzzed awake and the jungle wrapped itself in darkness, a call-and-response to Washington’s transcendent saxophone.

Somehow, it felt like a fitting requiem for Yvonne.

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El Gringo Feo Music Bob Travel Bob

Praying to AirPod Jesus for a miracle resurrection

(To read El Gringo Feo’s Costa Rica Diary from the beginning, start here.)

Thursday, August 30

I love my AirPods.

Apple’s wireless ear buds changed the way I listen to music and podcasts, probably quadrupling my consumption and providing endless diversion, whether I’m plodding along the streets of Athens with my aging great Pyrenees or bouncing along the beaches of Uvita en route to he Whale’s Tail.

But in some previous life, I apparently pissed off Neptune, and he sent one of his minions to this mortal realm to exact his vengeance upon me: the clothes washer.

I was getting ready to go down to the kitchen/bar area last night to write and read, gathering up the assorted paraphernalia required for that: iPhone, laptop, flashlight, water bottle and AirPods. The water was off again most of the afternoon, so I also stripped the bed and and gathered up my dirty clothes to do laundry now that it had been restored.

Bad move.

I’ve already had one unfortunate encounter that started this way. Back in Ohio, I managed to wash my iPhone, and despite thinking I’d delivered a death blow, a bag of rice, prayers to iPhone Jesus and several days of rest resuscitated it, though it’s a tad punch-drunk.

This time I’m not as hopeful. I’m not sure how the AirPods ended up in the washing machine with my laundry, but my best guess is I set them on the bed and when I gathered up the sheets I didn’t notice the white AirPod case sitting there. I found them when I went to move the laundry to the dryer.

I unleashed a bilingual stream of expletives (the only sense, sadly, in which I am bilingual). I cursed the washing machine. I slapped myself upside the head. And I hurled abuse at Neptune, that watery Roman bastard who was the agent of my demise.

¡Cabrón!

OK. I’m being dramatic. But I loved those AirPods. You don’t realize what a pain in the ass it is being tethered to your phone while listening to music until you aren’t fighting with that stupid wire.

So I did the only thing I reasonable person would do in this situation. I got out a bag of rice. Googled around for other AirPod resurrection stories (there are several, but there also are heartbreaking tales of death by drowning), and I beseeched AirPod Jesus (and the Buddha and Allah and every other god I could think to invoke) to grant me one more miracle.

After a few days in the rice, I’ll see if my prayers are answered. If not, I was pessimistic enough to assume something might happen to my beloved AirPods and packed a backup pair of wired Apple ear buds just in case.


As I write this morning, I’m nursing more blisters, this time on the bottoms of both feet. I went on a rambling walk yesterday, stopping at the grocery store, the farmer’s market, the beach and a little breakfast place that turned out to be ho-hum but had wireless. Lots of dirt roads. Lots of rocky, uneven surfaces. About 6 miles worth. But no regrets. Those blisters will heal.

I did see lots of cool wildlife, including:

  • The largest iguana I’ve ever seen, sunning itself on the gravel parking area here at PurVita. After admiring him from a distance, I went up to the kitchen to cut up papaya and had a thought: Maybe Mr. Iguana would like a chunk of papaya. So I took a piece and walked toward him, intending to toss it off to the side to see if he’d show any interest. He freaked, thrashing off loudly through the fruit trees, thudding against the side of the building in an attempt to climb it and ricocheting back across the lot through the pineapple plants to safety. I’m really hoping I didn’t run him off for good. He was a gorgeous, Rolling-Rock-bottle green. In researching him, I’m pretty certain he was a green iguana, and apparently he wasn’t full grown. They get up to 6 feet and as they get older that brilliant green dulls, a process that already was under way.
  • When I exited the Treehouse in the morning, I noticed some sort of chewed up, or perhaps digested, berries scattered on the deck right outside the door. I looked up and saw a bat bedded down for the day. He was about 10 feet above me and hunkered, so I couldn’t see him well enough for an ID, but I’m guessing he was a long-nosed bat or maybe Pallas’ nectar bat. Leaning toward the former.
  • And the usual suspects. The yellow flycatchers have grown accustomed to me, completely unfazed when I walk by whistling at them. I love watching their acrobatics as they grab insects mid-flight. Howler monkeys mourned last night’s sunset and celebrated this morning’s sunrise. An agouti scampered across the driveway. And I spent time watching my favorite gecko hunt bugs on the sliding screen door. At night I often hear him chirping as I drift off to sleep.

Last night’s sunset was subdued but not disappointing.

Yesterday marked my two-week anniversary here (Hace dos semanas que yo llego in Costa Rica). It’s been fantastic. I’m learning tons of new things and feeling very productive for someone who spends his days reading books in a hammock. Last night, after two previous evenings of deluge, there was no rain so I hiked up to the shack for evening vespers. It was a subdued sunset but beautiful nonetheless. And it was cool to see the Whale’s Tail at high tide from this vantage after having walked it the other day at low tide. As the bats took flight, I wondered if one of them was my new roommate.

Shanti, Shanti, Shanti …

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Assorted Bob Music Bob

More musical pho at Fur Peace Ranch …

One of the great joys of living in Southeast Ohio is being within a stone's throw of Fur Peace Ranch. They serve pho (very, very good pho) on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and sometimes John Hurlburt and Jorma Kaukonen play while the audience slurps pho and munches banh mi. They're doing it again next week. Let me know if you want to go. They closed today with "This Land Is Your Land." Woody Guthrie never seemed more relevant than he did today while Congress was ensuring the poor get crap health care and Trump is trying to turn our national lands into oil fields.
One of the great joys of living in Southeast Ohio is being within a stone’s throw of Fur Peace Ranch. They serve pho (very, very good pho) on Wednesdays and Thursdays, and sometimes John Hurlburt and Jorma Kaukonen play while the audience slurps pho and munches banh mi. They’re doing it again next week (5/10-11). Let me know if you want to go. They closed today with “This Land Is Your Land.” Woody Guthrie never seemed more relevant than he did today while Congress was ensuring the poor get crap health care and Trump is trying to turn our national lands into oil fields.