‘My alphabetizing skills might be lacking, but I ain’t stupid’

I love reading crime stories. Especially tales like this gem that features country music, a Super Walmart and a large man in overalls.

I only wish Jerry Reed were still with us to turn this into pure poetry. Like it deserves.

(Of course, the only thing I like better than crime stories is great satire. Make sure you click around a bit while you’re visiting the Country California site. Very nice.)

3 replies on “‘My alphabetizing skills might be lacking, but I ain’t stupid’”

  1. I dunno’ Bob … maybe I worked in retail too long, but that seemed well within the realm of probability … a little too real for satire. I saw some very similar idiots try to pull off some even dumber scams. I mean, where’s the hyperbole?
    True story (not satire) : I was present when they busted a young fellow for trying to steal an electric hair clipper. It turned out that his wife had given him $19 to buy a hair clipper. He spent the money on drugs and then proceeded to the Kmart (along with his toddler son) where he tried to walk out with the clipper in an old bag. The reason he got caught was that he also stuffed a six pack of Reeses Peanut Butter cups in his pants. I guess maybe he didn’t figure that the cop would search him, but the one that showed up brought latex gloves. Even so, you couldn’t put those back on the shelf …

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