Categories
Bad Bob

Got LBJ?

LBJ is MIA.

After running amok at our Christmas bash, LBJ left with several unsavory characters to terrorize the fine citizens of Tennessee, who have little use for liberal Democrats and the Great Society.

He hasn’t been heard from since, though we do of several people in North Knoxville being blinded when LBJ showed them his scar.

If you have seen LBJ or might know his whereabouts, please let us know ASAP. There’s a young man in Virginia who is completely despondent over the disappearance of our 36th president. Apparently, wee Davey just keeps muttering something about a Christmas with out LBJ not being Christmas at all.

So if you see our little red LBJ, won’t you please, please send him home?

Categories
Assorted Bob Transcendental Bob

Shakin’ the tree …

I know I say this every year, but this year’s tree party was the best ever. We had attendees from San Antonio, Dallas, Pittsburgh, Harrisburg (that’s in Pennsyltucky, you know), Virginia and KnoxVegas descend on our evergreen. The hit of the party, though, was Knoxville’s own Sara Schwabe and her Yankee Jass Band.

Words really can’t describe the mayhem that resulted.

We had trolls.

We had LBJ.

And we had a hell of a good time. Pictures don’t lie.

If you want a little taste of what was going on, check out this video clip. (Quicktime, 2.7MB)

We also had some insanely cool ornaments, ranging from Red Bull in all its frenetic beauty to flu shots to a cheese sandwich with an image of Jesus on it. We also had the ghost of Christmas past, compliments of my favorite ghost hunter.

I can’t wait for next year …

Categories
Dog Bob

Goodbye to a loyal cocker spaniel

Crystal has been sliding downhill for the past year or so, doggedly clinging to her old food-seeking routines and spending her afternoons snoozing in the slivers of sunlight that spill into the house as the days tick by. But during the past few weeks, it became clear that she’d had enough. She’s been suffering from cancer and an assortment of heart maladies, and I knew it was time to let her go. But it wasn’t easy, and I wanted to do it as comfortably as possible. So we called our vet and arranged for them to come here to the house to put her down. She went quietly, at home, with me and Lara and Xena and Ozzy and Mully shedding tears nearby.

My mind has been drifting back, tracing the wonderful times we’ve shared during the past 15 years, to that moment a few days before Thanksgiving when I helped her mother, Brandi, give birth to a litter of yapping, yelping cockers …

To Crystal’s first walk, in an unlikely Birmingham snow, when she was so small I had to pick her up to get her over the curbs …

To that crazy trip across country, through Mississippi, Lousiania, Texas and finally to our new home in Albuquerque, that poor 1986 Ford Escort bristling with assorted possessions, a hyper cocker puppy and a demented lovebird named Gonzo …

To watching her and her best friend, PigPen, six months her junior, curled up in the New Mexico winter sunshine on our back porch …

To hot high-desert hikes when she and PigPen would run from one shady spot to the next, panting and ecstatic among the cactus and pinon …

To romps through Denver’s Washington Park, leaving contrails of dog prints in freshly fallen midnight snow …

To frenetically chasing sqeaky toys through our odd duplex-turned-single apartment in Austin, Texas, while barking PigPen egged her on, encouraging her to make another orbit of the room …

To the calmer days of old age in Tennessee when she lay her head on dying PigPen’s emaciated body, saying goodbye to her friend and partner in crime …

To all the joy she brought me for 15 years. Rest in peace, Little Chris. Rest in peace.