Suffering The Benz

RIP, Dee Dee

“I can see how Liverpool gave us the Beatles, but I’ll never figure out how Ann Arbor gave us Iggy and the Stooges.”

— Dee Dee Ramone

This one is funny on so many levels …

1. ABC, the network that brought us the Victoria’s Secret fashion special and so many sitcom crimes against common sense, is protecting us from using “Jesus” as an exclamation.

2. Jerry Falwell is deeply offended that ABC decided to bleep “Jesus,” probably sensing an anti-Christian conspiracy instead of a muddled attempt to avoid offending Christians. I wonder if Jerry will hold the same opinion the next time someone says, “Jesus Christ! Get the hell out of my way.” Bet he won’t … But then again, he’s probably still talking to God about how the World Trade Center attack can be partially blamed on “… the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America.” Jesus Christ! The dude’s too much.

Maybe ABC should hire him as their new censor.

When I was a kid, I though Evel Kneivel was the coolest thing on wheels. He inspired us the the loftiest heights of stupidity. We jumped our Big Wheels and bicycles over just about everything. Somewhere, I even have 8MM slow-motion film of my brother crashing and burning on a Big Wheel.

Now the man is planning a return with his longest jump ever. Can you say “nationally televised suicide“?