Lara and I bagged a bodacious tree today and managed to get it into the house and into a stand without me going totally Grinch on her. Clearly, this bodes well for our Desecrate the Christmas Tree party. And after 17 years, we promise intrigue, assorted shenanigans and plenty of strangely great music.
Will LBJ‘s long lost father return to rescue him from the hillbillies in Tennessee?
Will Screamin’ Jay Small enthrall the crowd with his soulful renditions of Britney Spears tunes?
Will the tree survive?
Only one way to find out, dude. Come to the party … details below.
- Who: The Benz and Edge’s
- What: Our 17th annual Christmas tree desecration party, in which assorted stooges put homemade, stupendously cool decorations on our unsuspecting evergreen. We have only one rule: You CAN’T buy the decoration. Also, remember that children and vegetarians are invited to the party. Ornaments should be rated “G” or “PG.” Also, Sara Schwabe’s Yankee Jass Band will perform, and there are rumors that Wailin’ Jay Small will do a voodoo resurrection of the late, great Johnny Cash. And last but not least, LBJ will be on the scene.
- Where: 11517 Hardin Valley Road. I-40 to Pellissippi Parkway (toward Oak Ridge). Take the Hardin Valley Road exit off Pellissippi Parkway. Go left at the light, onto Hardin Valley. Go about 2.4 miles, past the elementary school and Steele Road on the right. Our house is the third driveway on the right after you pass Steele Road. We’ll have it lit up, but watch closely. It can be tough to spot.
- Map
- Lost? Call 691-7731 or 604-7731.
- Important: We will have valet parking to avoid a repeat of The Stuck in the Mud Incident of 2000. You can either pull into the driveway and your car will be parked, or you can park at Sims store (near the elementary school, right before Steele Road) and you will be driven up to the party.
- When: Saturday, Dec. 16 at 7 p.m. Children and vegetarians are welcome.
- Why: Why not, wise guy?
- How: Make your own decoration. We’ll have beer, Spiney’s infamous margaritas, non-alcoholic beverages and vats of steaming green chile. Extra beverages and/or food will be welcome but aren’t required
- Now Playing: Cancion Pa Ceiba from the album “Que Vaya Bien” by Roy Brown, Tito Auger, Tao Rodriguez Seeger.