OK, here are my theories on the death of Dr. Atkins, creator of the all-meat, all-the-time Atkins Diet. He died from head injuries suffered when he slipped on an icy sidewalk last week in front of his home in New York. The physician had been ridiculed by the medical establishment for 20 years until just recently, when the docs went “Doh! (forehead smack) Bob (Atkins) was right and we look like idiots! Eat all the meat you can choke down!”
1. He became light-headed from lack of carbohydrates.
2. Vengeful members of the AMA hired a hitman to hose down the sidewalk of front of the Atkins house just before a hard freeze.
3. Nitrite poisoning impaired his balance.
4. Angry cows spiked Atkins’ morning omelet with a growth hormone that took effect just as he reached the icy sidewalk.
4 replies on “The truth behind Dr. Atkins’ fatal fall”
i’ve been arguing with numerous people at work about the value of this diet. about half of my team is on it. they are all overweight yet they feel compelled to convert me to their cause. i am at the low end of “normal” (thanks, at least in part, to genetics, no doubt). but… i can’t fathom where you get energy to get off the couch without carbs (perhaps this contributes to their weight problems?). maybe it is coincidence, but these folks also use an absurd amount of sick leave. migraines are epidemic among them. it seems to me that they should quit obsessing about their “Diet” and just adopt a more reasonable diet.
one of the guys looked at me like i was nuts when i suggested that the old coot fell because of improper nutrition. thanks for backing me up, leanne. i had not considered the other possibilities. 🙂
I’m leaning toward the Angry Cows explanation. Nothing worse that bellicose bovines …
Having been suddenly and dramatically diagnosed with diabetes in January, I have been doing this stuff for a few months. When I went to the doctor for a sinus infection, my blood sugar was determined to be muy toxic, 900+, and I was rushed by my wife to the hospital where I walked into ICU carrying my own luggage and the nurses kept saying no, really, where’s the patient?…they thought they were getting someone who’d gone into diabetic coma. When they told me most people in my condition come in on a stretcher, I suddenly felt the need to sit down. They kept me there all week in ICU. When they released me, I was on insulin 4 times a day, and four different pill medications twice daily.
I was never much of a sugar junky so the main thing was cut out the extra carbs.
Being a rather vigorous carnivore myself that was no problem.
Three months later I’m off the medications, blood sugar is no problem, cholesterol and triglycerides are perfect, and I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since I was a 17 year old high school jock and Nietzsche specialist chasing Southern Baptist girls around the Maypole at Merry Mount.
I think Dr. Atkins died not because of the fall, but because of a heart attack due to eating too much much meat. All that meat clogged his arteries, preventing blood to flow to his heart. He died before he even hit the ground.