Categories
Top Bob Uncategorized

One mile east of the Papermill exit …

I was returning home on Interstate 40 last night when I saw about four or five semis slowed to a crawl in the right lane. Strange. An acrid, burned-rubber smell drifted into my truck. I slowed to about 10 mph and came upon one of the most horrifying things I’ve seen in a long time. A man was lying in a fetal position on the highway while a woman ran toward him, screaming, crying. A mangled red SUV was about 30 yards away, off the road. It all happened so slowly, so strangely. I drifted past, noticing the glimmering broken glass covering the roadway. The Do Lung bridge scene in Apocalpyse Now came quickly to mind. Then adrenaline hit me. I pulled over, already past the accident, and fumbled for my cell phone. Misdialed. Dialed again. Was put on hold by the 911 system. A police car’s lights approached in my sideview mirror. I sat stunned for a moment. Realized there was nothing to be done but gawk at this point. Shut off my cell phone. Pulled slowly back onto I-40, hands shaking, and continued on home.

I still don’t know what happened. No report in this morning’s paper. It was probably past their deadline. But the image of that woman and man on the Interstate won’t leave. It reminds me of my reporter days, when I would “cover” a fatal accident. I always felt like a vulture circling carrion, and it always took me a week or two to flush the scene from my mind …

Categories
Uncategorized

We’re running out of Ramones …

RIP, Dee Dee

“I can see how Liverpool gave us the Beatles, but I’ll never figure out how Ann Arbor gave us Iggy and the Stooges.”

— Dee Dee Ramone

Categories
Uncategorized

Jesus H. Christ …

This one is funny on so many levels …

1. ABC, the network that brought us the Victoria’s Secret fashion special and so many sitcom crimes against common sense, is protecting us from using “Jesus” as an exclamation.

2. Jerry Falwell is deeply offended that ABC decided to bleep “Jesus,” probably sensing an anti-Christian conspiracy instead of a muddled attempt to avoid offending Christians. I wonder if Jerry will hold the same opinion the next time someone says, “Jesus Christ! Get the hell out of my way.” Bet he won’t … But then again, he’s probably still talking to God about how the World Trade Center attack can be partially blamed on “… the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America.” Jesus Christ! The dude’s too much.

Maybe ABC should hire him as their new censor.