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El Gringo Feo Travel Bob Uncategorized

I eat bandwidth. And spotted roosters …

(To read El Gringo Feo’s Costa Rica Diary from the beginning, start here.)

Thursday, August 23

Spotted the "Sea Shrek" on my way to the farmers market. A few of my former students who are Shrek fanatics would be thrilled to see that ...
Spotted the “Sea Shrek” on my way to the farmers market. A few of my former students who are Shrek fanatics would be thrilled to see that …

I walked to the Wednesday farmer’s market yesterday for some fruit, then hiked over to an ATM to ensure I’m flush with colones. I also recharged the Kolbi card that gives me a local number and data access for my phone. You have to go to a store to do that, and when I told the clerk I wanted veinte mil colones added to the card, he looked at me incredulously, thinking that perhaps this Gringo Feo was confused. I suspect Ticos recharge in much smaller increments.

“¿Veinte mil?” he asked.

“Sí,” I told him. “Veinte mil” (about $40).

Kolbi texted me almost immediately to let me know the 20,000 colones was now at my disposal.

I logged about 10k steps, or four miles, on the excursion and returned to the house tired and sweaty. I’d soaked dry beans the night before, so I made a batch of gallo pinto, the comfort food of Costa Rica. Gallo pinto means spotted rooster in Spanish, perhaps because the mix of rice and beans has a spotted look to it. But it’s vegetarian until you add meat, which I didn’t in this instance. Mine was nowhere near authentic, but it was as close as I could get with the ingredients on hand, a key component of which is Salsa Lizano, a Worcestershire-like sauce made with vegetables, mustard and assorted spices. I had Lizano, so in that respect, at least, it was authentic. There’s a “soda” (small restaurant where locals eat) near here. I’m going to stop in there to check out the real stuff soon.

Spotted this along HIghway 34 on my way to the farmers market. Wonder how I'm going to get it back to Athens ...
Spotted this along HIghway 34 on my way to the farmers market. Wonder how I’m going to get it back to Athens …

After lunch, I opened a Spanish grammar book I bought to study while I’m here. It was humbling. I knew my Spanish was abysmal. But it’s worse than that. I’ve forgotten what little I knew. It’s a workbook with exercises, and after a few of those my brain started to ooze so I retreated to the Treehouse for a nap.

I awoke to rustling outside my window. Coatimundi making their daily rounds. The sky started crying, prompting the coatimundi to scatter and run back to wherever coatimundi seek shelter from the storm. Thankfully, the rain stopped in time for my evening trek up to the shack. It was a subdued sunset, still shrouded in the rain that was tracking offshore. As lightning flashed like distant shell explosions over the Pacific I thought of Poilu and poor Louis Barthas, who is struggling to survive the horrific mayhem that was the Somme in 1916-17 in the current section of his memoirs I’m reading.

Wednesday night's last gasp ...
Wednesday night’s last gasp …

No horror here. No mayhem. Just the cranky screams of howler monkeys at sunset while irascible parrots flocked overhead, ready to roost. Night descended on bat wings as the little buggers flew acrobatically around me.

Perhaps this is burying the lede, but after watching the sunset I returned to the house where I cranked out the first chapter of the novel I’m working on. Very rough, but encouraging. We’ll see if I still think so later today when I revisit it.

And then, for the first time since I’ve been here, I got out my AirPods and listened to music. Mostly, it seems silly to listen to music when the jungle provides its own. But t was late, and I was craving a dose of Courtney Barnett. I’m obsessing over her lately, especially her ode to asthma, Avant Gardener. I can relate, especially when she spins out lines like this:

The paramedic thinks I’m clever cause I play guitar

I think she’s clever cause she stops people dying

Or …

I take a hit from

An asthma puffer

I do it wrong

I was never good at smoking bongs.

I’m not that good at breathing in.

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El Gringo Feo Travel Bob

El Gringo Feo sets off on foot to explore Uvita

(To read El Gringo Feo’s Costa Rica Diary from the beginning, start here.)

Wednesday, August 22

Beach view at Ballenas National Marine Park.
Beach view at Ballenas National Marine Park.

I finally went off the reservation yesterday. I’ve fully settled in here at PurUvita and decided to get a sense of how far a walk it is to the beach, stores, restaurants, etc. I’m not normally averse to a brisk hike, but the humidity here clings to you like skunk smell on a wet dog. So I fashioned a few do rags out of paper towels, loaded up my backpack and descended the daunting driveway that leads to the coast highway.

The Costa Rican take on Garden & Gun? Vigilancia y Jardineria.
The Costa Rican take on Garden & Gun? Vigilancia y Jardinería.

Playa Colonia, toward the southern end of Ballena National Marine Park, is just a a short walk north on Highway 34, then a left onto a dirt road that leads to the beach (la playa). Walking along the highway is a bit daunting. Drivers don’t slow down when they see pedestrians and there is no sidewalk. Just a narrow strip off the road. But it wasn’t long before the passing trucks I’d dreaded were welcomed for the cooling breeze they dragged along in their wake. While walking, I saw an interesting little subdivision, an auto parts store, a veterinary clinic, a not-so supermercado and a sign for the Costa Rican version of Garden & Gun offering gardening and security services, all under one roof. I also saw chickens, dogs and a massive iguana that was as thick around as my arm.

It was an easy walk to the beach (2,500 steps, or about a mile, based on my iPhone pedometer), and while Jeff told me how to bypass the toll booth ($6 US for tourists; $2 or locals), I decided to go through the official entrance, partially because the dirt road leading to the free entrance was something of a mud pit, and partially because I want to contribute to the care and feeding of this amazing resource. I do wish they had some sort of monthly pass. But I’ll create my own by using the free route more often than not.

The beach is beautiful. Not in the sugar-white way Northwest Florida beaches are, but more in a remote, cool-place-to-camp aspect. It reminded me of the surfer beach in Sayulita, Mexico, we visited several years ago. There’s a small guard shack where I coughed up my $6 bucks and received change in Colones (exchange rate about 550 to a dollar). You can go straight to the sand, or, as I did, turn onto a double track that runs through the palms and brush behind the dune line.

A white ibis near Playa Colonia.
A white ibis near Playa Colonia.

After walking for a bit, I found a spot to sit on a log and watch the waves, taking note of the surrounding palm trees to ensure I wasn’t sitting in under a bunch of coconuts that could drop and knock me senseless. An ATV with a few police officers rode by, waving as they went. But at 9:30 a.m. I had the place pretty much to myself.

I continued on toward the Whale’s Tail. I wasn’t intending to go out there today (I hadn’t even checked the tide charts to see if it was possible), but I did want to get a sense of how far a walk it would be. Long, but not daunting. When I got to the spot where whale watching boats put in, on the south end of the Whale’s Tail, I cut back up inland and found the softball field where Jeff and I watched a gaggle of expatriates play softball on Saturday. From there I angled through the neighborhood to Flutterby House, which Jeff also introduced me to. They have wifi, iced coffee and decent fish tacos. I made a quick call to Lara to test WhatsApp and it worked flawlessly, but Lara was in the middle of walking Sunny in a rainstorm so we didn’t talk long. But damn, it was good to hear her voice.

From there, I made my way back toward Playa Colonia, wading through at least one muddy track, returning to the beach and then retracing my steps up through the neighborhood. I did hit a small market over by the softball/soccer field to pick up a supplies. It dawned on me I haven’t eaten red meat or chicken since leaving the States. Don’t miss it. Once I arrived in Costa Rica and had easy access to fresh seafood, that was all I needed.

Prices here are pretty much the same as in the States, if not more expensive. The exception is fresh fruits and anything local. But stuff that’s imported is pricey. My market run cost me almost $20 and I didn’t have a lot to show for it. Cheese, juice, water, black beans, tortillas and a few other sundries.

The driveway leading to PurUvita.
The daunting driveway leading to PurUvita. It’s steeper than it looks …

The return left me sweaty, taxing my makeshift do rag to its limits, and the finale, a climb up the driveway, had me huffing. Don’t underestimate the effect of the tropical sun. The streets aren’t tree-lined, so when I was walking them the sun was vicious. The path behind the dunes at the beach is a different story. More shade, pleasant ocean breeze. In all, I logged about 16k steps today, or about 8 miles. That’s pretty much what I do daily at home thanks to Sunny’s insatiable desire for walks.

After returning, I showered and spent the rest of the afternoon plowing through Poilu, where hapless Louis Barthas emerges from the slaughter of Verdun largely unscathed but having witnessed carnage on a scale I can’t comprehend. The book does a marvelous job of relating the grunt’s life. Boredom. Marching with no idea where you’re heading. And then the sheer terror of trying to survive in the trenches while the world is exploding around. He was a Socialist, which greatly impacts his view of the war. Sometimes it’s clear he identifies more with the German regulars more than his own commanders, who stay behind the lines in bunkers while the common folk are left to slaughter each other a few hundred yards away.

As sunset approached (5:47 p.m.), I migrated up to the shack, where I heard a group of howlers down in the valley. Maybe they’re heading back my way. And the sunset was sublime. Definitely photo-worthy this time around. This is quickly becoming one of my favorite daily rituals. As the light faded, the bats came out, winging precariously through the open first floor of the shack and within feet of my head. I slouched, hoping their radar was true. And it was.

After a dinner of scrambled eggs, tortillas, cheese and an organic carrot, I found myself on the second floor of the building housing the kitchen/bar area, watching the stars above the Pacific while I sipped a rum and orange juice, my nightly offering to the sugar cane gods. The moon is in its waxing crescent phase, with the full moon coming Sunday. I’m really hoping for a clear night or two during the new moon so I can see the stars. No city lights here. Just the Pacific Ocean.

Sunset from the shack.
Sunset from the shack.
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El Gringo Feo Travel Bob

What happened to my howler wakeup call?

(To read El Gringo Feo’s Costa Rica Diary from the beginning, start here.)

Tuesday, August 21

A coatimundi makes his way past the Treehouse while foraging for food.
A coatimundi makes his way past the Treehouse while foraging for food.

For the second morning in a row, there was no howler monkey party outside my window as day broke. Yesterday, I was sleep-deprived and thankful for the relative silence. But today I miss the little buggers. I’m not even hearing them in the distance. They must have moved on in search of food. I suspect they cycle through a wide territory …

I thought I caught a quick glimpse of a white-faced capuchin monkey, but upon further review I’m pretty sure it was actually a coatimundi. Later, as I was reading Poilu on the deck of the Treehouse, a band of them showed up, leading me to believe my earlier capuchin sighting was more wishful thinking that actual fact. The coatimundi does have a vaguely monkey tail, and one of them ventured close enough to me for a photo opportunity (see above). He was casually foraging for tasty fruits, much of which gets tossed down from birds who take a single bite and move on. Sydney, our umbrella cockatoo, behaves in this manner. It’s a very efficient way for nature to scatter seeds …

As I write, a rain of fruit is falling around me, some of it clanging off the metal roof, as the jungle birds eat breakfast with little regard for the mess they’re making.

Remember that smack I was talking about the dearth of mosquitos here?

Not so fast. One of Jeff’s friends warned me there are biting bugs on the beach, and they’re very stealth. You don’t realize you’ve been assaulted until it’s too late.

There are some here at PurUvita, too, though it’s still not as bad as my front porch in Ohio. Regardless, I’ve reconciled with Deet, at least in some circumstances.

I spent yesterday morning watching boats full of tourists head out toward the Whale’s Tail at high tide, presumably on their way to watch the whales. From my perch atop PurUvita, they looked like tiny waterbugs, discernible primarily through their wakes. Is that a rogue wave? No. It’s attached to that little dot, er boat, pushing out into the Pacific. Another item for my to-do list.

Strange, delicate little wasp-type insects were ducking in and out of a tubular hive in one of the logs that forms a supporting timber for the shack. They chose a knot in the wood to insert their nest. I assume they’ve burrowed into the wood. They don’t appear to be aggressive and were unperturbed when I came close to shoot a short video. I haven’t had time to ID them yet. There’s so much here that I don’t know. It’s humbling and invigorating.

I received a text yesterday from Lara telling me her father is going into hospice. I think she has mixed emotions. It’s obviously distressing to know your father is about to die. But there’s also a sense of relief. He was a difficult guy before dementia twisted his brain. It got worse from there, muddling him and prompting him to see schemes and conspiracies everywhere. But Lara said Daddy has taken a turn toward sweetness with the news. Perhaps he’s ready. Or perhaps it’s like that Flannery O’Connor Story, A Good Man is Hard to Find, one of my favorite O’Connor stories. After an escaped convict, the Misfit, encounters and then kills a sinful Christian grandmother, he says, “she would have been a good woman, if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.” I always took that to be O’Connor saying some people need that immediate threat of extermination every day to truly see the light and find grace. Or as Ray Wylie Hubbard sang in Conversation with the Devil:

Some get spiritual, ’cause they see the light

And some, ’cause they feel the heat

Though my favorite stanza from that song is:

Now I said, “I’ve made some mistakes, but I’m not as bad as those guys

How can God do this to me or can’t He sympathize

He said, “You’re wrong about God being cruel and mean

Oh, God is the most loving thing that’s never been seen”

I said, “Hotshot tell me this which religion is the truest”

He said, “There all about the same

Buddha was not a Christian, but Jesus woulda made a good Buddhist”

The day closed, again, atop the hill, watching a delicious grenadine sunset sprawl across the sea, capped by banks of clouds. The humidity was palpable, and then a light rain fell as the light faded. No photo. Impossible to capture … so I’ll leave you with Ray Wylie.

https://youtu.be/pNOl6mMcwvM