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Just when I think I’ve seen it all, a friend pings me a link to William Shatner’s blog. Wow. To make it even cooler, his daughter also blogs on the site, asking thought-provoking questions such as: “What would Captain Kirk’s dream vacation be? ”

Hmm. I don’t know. Would it involve an interstellar brothel, skimpily clad alien chics (preferably green) and some hard drinking with Spock? Maybe a few tribbles on the side?

What I really want to see is a blog written by a raving, drunken Scotty, revealing all that really went on in the warp core.

I staggered into a very cool word the other day that I’ve quickly adopted in the Benzian Lexicon: crapulous. What is that, you ask?

crapulous

adjective

Stupefied, excited, or muddled with alcoholic liquor : besotted, crapulent, drunk, drunken, inebriate, inebriated, intoxicated, sodden, tipsy. Informal: cockeyed, stewed. Slang: blind, bombed, boozed, boozy, crocked, high, lit (up), loaded, looped, pickled, pixilated, plastered, potted, sloshed, smashed, soused, stinking, stinko, stoned, tight, zonked. Idioms: drunk as a skunk, half-seas over, high as a kite, in one’s cups, in.

Yup. I’ll find plenty of use for crapulous.

I’ve also grown rather fond of the Brit word wanker. Guess I’m watching too much BBC America …

So I’m paging through the local alternative weekly and I stumble across an ad for the “June Jubilee in historic Dandridge.” Along with the obligatory bluegrass offerings, they are boasting “Clogging and Karate.” I’m trying as hard as I can to wrap my Yankee mind around that concept: clogging and karate. I’ve always thought clogging was kinda frightening. And I know a woman who claims to have once “clogged for moonshine” in a neighbor’s garage when she was a teen. And karate has that whole Bruce Lee thing going on. But clogging and karate? That sounds like a possible reality TV show.

If you’re looking for me this weekend, look no farther than the Dandridge June Jubilee.