October 31, 2004
My kind of trailer trash
A package from Dave Shaffer showed up in my mailbox recently. Normally, that would terrify me. But I took all the proper precautions and opened it in a well-ventilated area with a first-aid kit nearby.
What popped out is his latest, and to my knowledge only, CD.
The band is Abandoned Trailer. The CD is Under the Giant. It's freakin' awesome. He and Fred Reading collaborated on it. Don't know much about what they're up to here or if they're selling copies of it. If they are, I'll try to track down a place where you can buy it. If they aren't, I'll burn you a copy (with their permission). Just send me a note. The coolest thing about it is I really can't say what "it's like." The sound is distinct. The harmonies soar. I particularly liked "The Bellwood Reel/Lilac Wednesday." But I hate to play favorites.
Posted by Bob Benz at 6:39 PM | Comments (0)
Stupid Bob tricks ...
The comments on my blog have been getting hit pretty hard by spammers. I guess they think people across the Internet will flock to play Texas hold 'em if they just post comments in enough places with links to their fine site.
After a little research, I found a very cool Movable Type plug-in that allows you to block spammers and clean up spam-infested blogs. It was so slick and easy to set up, I sent the developer a bit of cash via PayPal for his efforts. Nice work.
Emboldened by my success against the spam villains, I decided to finally get around to importing all of my old Greymatter blog posts into Movable Type. That, too, proved to be much easier than I could have hoped. My MT blog now has posts all the way back to May 2002. While I realize that's more Benz than anyone should suffer, I really like having it all under one roof.
Posted by Bob Benz at 6:27 PM | Comments (0)
Hey, who stole John Kerry?
Click to see larger version
So someone in this Republican bastion decided to go through an upscale Knoxville neighborhood and abscond with all the John Kerry signs to be seen. Normally, this is politics as usual. But the abductor stepped on the toes of my friend Andre.
Now, Andre isn't terribly political. In fact, he's not even a U.S. citizen and can't vote. The sign was placed there by his girlfriend, bleeding heart Vikki. But the theft of this sign really rubbed Andre the wrong way. He and I are a lot of like. We obsess about the small things, and this was a small thing worth obsessing over.
So Andre went out, secured two more John Kerry signs and put them in his yard, determined to be undaunted by this right-wing sign thief.
But this really brought out the Ho Chi Minh in me. I decided to shift into prankster mode and take John Kerry into captivity each time Andre put him back in the front yard. I made a point of driving by there and grabbing the signs, tossing them in the back of my truck, and stealing away. Andre started mumbling about setting booby traps and resorting to video surveillance.
And then I launched my coup de grace.
With great care and the help of the every devious Herb, I recrafted the Kerry signs in my own image. When Andre went to pick up Vikki at work, I left, planning to get to their house, plant a few Benz for President signs on the front yard and wait on the side porch for Andre to pull in and see them.
But I was dealing with a crafty victim. He knew something was up. Apparently, Vikki had gone over the top telling Andre how amused I was by his sign fever. And he suspected something was up, but couldn't quite pinpoint it. Although he'd told Vikki he was on his way, he really was hiding out in the house, waiting to catch a sign thief.
I got there, planted my signs and went around to the side porch, where I was talking to Vikki on my cell, wondering why Andre hadn't arrived yet to get her. That's when Andre burst out the back door and nabbed me.
When he saw the signs, though, I realized all was not lost. He really got a charge out of it, even if my prank went somewhat awry.
Posted by Bob Benz at 5:53 PM | Comments (4)
October 30, 2004
The Holy Goof ...
"Related or unrelated, if it was a fact, I knew it. Important or unimportant, whether the amount of coffee grown in Brazil last year, or the weight of Trotsky's brain, I deal with facts."
-- Neal Cassady, in a letter to Allen Ginsberg
When I read this, it struck me as a brick and mortar incarnation of William Carlos Williams' edict: "No ideas but in things."
I just finished William Plummer's biography of Neal Cassady, "The Holy Goof." Great read. Cassady is one of those figures who always fascinated me. On one hand, he was this brilliant Beat cyclone who didn't waste his time writing about life. He was too busy living it. On the other, he was a piece of crap who treated women terribly and often took advantage of his friends.
"The Holy Goof" does a good job of presenting both Cassadys, but it's clearly a sympathetic bio. If you're interested in Cassady, Kerouac and/or Kesey, this is worth checking out.
Now Playing: Pumpkin Headed Troll Woman from the album The Road Goes on Forever by Cold Beans and Bacon
Posted by Bob Benz at 10:09 AM | Comments (2)
October 29, 2004
Getting a dog's eye view ...
Gotta get one of these. I'm sure what it reveals will be horrifying.
Posted by Bob Benz at 12:57 PM | Comments (2)
October 19, 2004
TV-B-Gone
This is a very cool gadget that lets you turn of TVs anywhere you stumble across them. Think about it. You're in a restaurant trying to eat, and a TV is blaring over in the bar.
Click.
It's off. Life is better.
Posted by Bob Benz at 5:26 PM | Comments (7)
October 16, 2004
Poodlefish whistles Dixie
I put an ad in the paper this week, hoping to find the owner of the dog I found in Melton Hill Lake last week. To no avail.
So this morning when I took Xena and Ozzy to the lake, I took Poodlefish posters and tacked them on every phone pole from here to the lake. At about 2 this afternoon, Poodlefish's owner called. Turns out her name is Dixie and she wandered away from home last week. Their property abuts the lake. They were afraid she had drifted off into the woods and died since she's so old.
So Poodlefish ... er, Dixie ... is back with her owners and my pack is reduced to four again.
Posted by Bob Benz at 3:08 PM | Comments (2)
October 10, 2004
The poodlefish
When we arrived at the lake before sunrise Saturday, I heard a dog barking in the distance while Xena and Ozzy barreled out of the truck. I thought it was coming from across the water, maybe up on the cliffs that crowd the western shoreline.
Xena knew better.
She charged straight down to the water and jumped in, followed closely by Ozzy. When I got there, I saw a soaked, shivering white dog standing in the water under the dock. I waded out, grabbed it by the scruff of the neck and reeled it in.
The poor thing was shivering uncontrollably, and I was afraid it might have hypothermia. So I canceled the hike, much to Xena and Ozzy's lament, and took the little dog to the emergency vet clinic, where I learned it's a female toy poodle, probably about 13 years old, blind and deaf.
At first, I thought some total piece of shit had thrown the little dog in the lake to get rid of it. But after watching it wander aimlessly around the house for a few hours, I'm starting to think it was either abandoned or drifted away from home and stumbled into the lake by accident. Once there, it wasn't able to climb out.
Not sure yet what I'm going to do with it. This would be Dog No. 5, and it seems to be in pretty bad shape. I'm going to try to find the owner via lost-and-found ads, but deep down, I know better. This dog is my problem. It's definitely not adoptable. And I'm not sure how much quality there is to its life. I might need to put it down if I can't locate the owner. It's definitely not a decision I'm in a hurry to make. I'm going to give her a little while to see how she adjusts to the house ...
Posted by Bob Benz at 4:06 PM | Comments (5)
Truckin'
Posted by Bob Benz at 3:55 PM | Comments (4)
October 3, 2004
Leanne goes live ...
Leanne's site is up and live, complete with blog, brief bio and selected writings. How can you not check out someone who likes "indie-rock, alt-country, naps, margaritas, macaroni and cheese, Mardi Gras, staring into space and letting the world know she still gives a rat's ass"?
Now Playing: I'm So Cute from the album Sheik Yerbouti by Frank Zappa
Posted by Bob Benz at 5:38 PM | Comments (1)
The high-wireless act
During another travel binge last week (NYC,
Cincinnati, Corpus Christi), I was staying at the Athletic Club in New York. They supposedly have wireless. But the signal was scant, and I wasn't able to get much done.
So I started walking around the hotel with my laptop, fishing for a stronger signal.
I found one. On top of the armoire. So I'm standing there, with my laptop at shoulder height, answering e-mail and surfing the web in spurts, until all the blood would run out of my hands and I'd have to take a break.
The next morning, my back and shoulders were sore from my high-wireless act. But the pain was nothing compared to the grief I would have suffered using a dial-up connection ...
Now Playing: Broken Hearts Are For Assholes from the album Sheik Yerbouti by Frank Zappa
Posted by Bob Benz at 5:33 PM | Comments (2)
Shut up and play your guitar ...
I've lost all respect for iTunes music store.
I was filled with demented glee on hearing that a bunch of quadraphonic stuff has emerged from Frank Zappa's vault. Apparently, surround sound systems are perfect for playing this stuff. But when I went to iTunes and searched "Zappa," not only did I fail to find "Quaudiophiliac," but those Apple wankers had NO Zappa albums.
It's freakin' criminal ...
Now Playing: Stronger from the album Wayward Angel by Kasey Chambers
Posted by Bob Benz at 5:26 PM | Comments (0)