June 29, 2002
An ambush in Pennsyltucky ...
I became road kill during Joannie's recent pickin' party in Pennsyltucky. Several friends conspired to have an early surprise 40th birthday party for me. When they rang the bell to gather everyone, I came up out of the pond dripping wet, unsuspecting, only to be subjected to assorted and sundry humiliations. There was a Penguin Pinata, Pin the Penguin on the Telly and assorted silly hats. One of the coolest features was a birthday cake that had a picture of me on it from college (still can't figure out why my eyes were so strangely dilated in that photo ...)
The Penguin motif has its origins in my college days at Edinboro University of Pennsylvania (an academic slum south of Erie, PA.). I was known to maraud around campus wearing a Pittsburgh Penguins jersey and ranting about false class consciousness. In fact, during one ill-fated assignment for Gary's film class, I screamed Ginsberg's "America" at the camera while wearing full Penguin regalia. That was the infamous John Baker Show, which was censored by one of Gary's right-wing classmates. He "accidentally" didn't record the sound, resulting in a pretty funny silent movie. Glad that's not still floating around.
Anyway, the party was great and it's nice to know I'm loved. Or at least that my friend are willing to bring me forth to make sport of me ...
For more photos of this august event, click here ...
Posted by Bob Benz at 6:43 PM | Comments (2)
Fun with Fondue
This story is too strange. Apparently, a couple of NFL players and their wives where have a nice, happy fondue when tragedy struck. I guess I shouldn't make fun of it since it sounds as if a few of them were hurt pretty badly, but fondue? "It happened so fast," one of the players told the Florida Times-Union. According to the Sporting News, the player "said they were moving the fondue pot when it slipped onto the tile floor in his house." Wow. Another reason to just say no to fondue ...
Posted by Bob Benz at 6:23 PM | Comments (0)
June 25, 2002
A few more shots of turkey ...
But these turkeys aren't wild. The party at Joanne's was to include a turkey roast. Ryck ordered three 25-pounders a while ago, but the birds were no where to be found the day before the party. The store was offering a few paltry 12-pounders, which definitely wouldn't work for what we had in mind.
So after calling all over the place to find three big birds, we finally turned to Judy, who tracked them down in no time, thawed them in her bathtub overnight and had them ready to cook on Saturday morning. She and husband Tim roasted the turkeys to perfection, then served them up to the hungry crowd.
For photos, check out this page.
Posted by Bob Benz at 3:39 PM | Comments (0)
Fun and thrills with road kill ...
Always enjoy reading the Perry County Times when I travel to those parts. It's a small weekly paper with all the news that's fit to print, straight from the heartland of Pennsyltucky.
In addition to a great police blotter, a recent edition sported a story about a bunch of kids at Perry County High School who decided it would be pretty cool to cover the football field with road kill. I guess things are pretty slow in Perry County, and thrills are tough to come by, no matter how cheap they are. Unfortunately, the Canada geese they decided to hang from the goal posts were not road kill. Game officials suspect the geese were poached, and one of the students is now facing charges.
The suspect wants to be a Marine when he grows up. Hmmm.
At least in Tennessee, we just eat our road kill. Never thought about using it for decorative purposes ...
Posted by Bob Benz at 3:31 PM | Comments (1)
The Fellini Road Trip ...
Lara and I drove up to Pennsyltucky for Joannie's annual pickin' party. The trip up was almost as much fun as the destination. Along the way, we saw ...
-- A truck in East Tennessee with a "Bland Ministries" logo on the site. Nuff said.
-- A one-legged man hopping around beside broken-down bus
-- A dreaded Rastafarian and his woman fixing a car on the side of the road while Hank Hill was pulling his pickup truck over to lend a hand.
-- A plane crash in Maryland (well, we didn't actually see it crash; a Cessna-type plane apparently crashed on takeoff, and we drove by shortly after it happend).
-- A sign at the beginning of a Pennsylvania construction site that read: "Slow down. My Daddy Works here." The "s" in works was a Z, and the sign was done in a child's handwriting. (On the way back, the sign on the southbound side of the interstate said, "Slow Down, My Mommy Works Here." Those Pennsyltuckians sure ain't sexist.
-- A semi in Tennessee with "Student Truck Driver" plastered all over the side of it. Needless to say, we gave that one plety of room.
-- On ramps with long stripes in Virginia (this is a Lara note; she was pretty upset that the dotted lines on on ramps didn't get closer together, signalling the lane was about to end. Hey, we all have our peeves.)
-- The Great Wall of Bristol. In the five years or so that I've been going up I-81, the fine city of Bristol has been hard at work building a massive wall along the interstate. I assume it's to reduce noise. I hope it's effective. It's gummed up traffic for a long time.
-- Our soundtrack during the drive:
10,000 Maniacs, In My Tribe
The Be Good Tanyas, Blue Horse
Dave Alvin, Public Domain
Whiskeytown, Faithless Street
Son Volt, Trace
Posted by Bob Benz at 3:18 PM | Comments (3)
June 19, 2002
But wait! There's more!
NPR had a great feature this a.m. on Ron Popeil, the infamous TV pitchman. Great spots from those bizarre commercials (including the Veg-O-Matic). My all time favorite had to be spray on hair. I also was amazed to realize the Popeil went bankrupt after getting rich, and returned to county fairs and small venues selling his products to amass another fortune. You have to give the guy credit. The NPR site includes some cool video and other materials, including a shot of Dan Aykroyd running a bass through the Bass-O-Matic. Way cool. And refreshing, too.
If NPR has pulled this down by the time you read this, you can always order the book, "But Wait! There's More!"
Posted by Bob Benz at 8:58 AM | Comments (1)
June 18, 2002
Kinky soccer ...
This one is pretty bizarre. I didn't realize soccer could get so kinky. It's a game that I never really understood, until the 1994 World Cup. I was still in Albuquerque and watched several of the matches with a soccer fanatic I knew. It helped to have him explain basic strategy. When I started looking at it as a slower, more thoughtful version of hockey, I finally got it. I still don't go out of my way to watch it, but the highlight reels are pretty cool. Wonder if the photo from the link above will make those reels ...
Posted by Bob Benz at 2:30 PM | Comments (1)
June 16, 2002
xena chills out with a baby newf ...
A friend brought her newf pup, Governor, over to see Xena last week. It was a funny encounter. The two hit it off quickly and chased each other around for a while, then went to lie on the air conditioning vent to cool off. Unfortunately for Xena, Governor beat her there and got the prime seat. You can't even see the vent in the photo above. It's completely covered by newf.
Governor is a landseer newf. They have the black and white coats. I think he's about 12 weeks old in this photo.
Posted by Bob Benz at 8:24 PM | Comments (0)
Art deco in Cincinnati ...
I stayed at the Omni Netherland in Cincinnati this week. (I think it's now a Hilton ...). The rooms leave something to be desired, but the public spaces are an incredible testament to art deco. The example at right is one of the eye motifs that filled the conference room we were using. The art in the hotel earned it a National History Landmark designation. The bar is especially cool. Great place to smoke a cigar and just marvel at the art. It pretty much makes up for the shoebox-sized rooms and the slow elevators. If you're ever in town, definitely swing by to check it out.
My first introduction to art deco was during a trip to New York, when Pearl, a screaming queen friend of mine, took me on a tour of the Empire State Building pointing out all the art deco touches. I was hooked. I've loved art deco ever since.
Posted by Bob Benz at 8:20 PM | Comments (0)
Another morning, another shot of wild turkey
Xena has been obsessing over rabbits and squirrels during our morning hikes, so I didn't think much of it when she disappeared into the brush. Suddenly, I heard a commotion, mighty flapping and what sounded like a struggle. Another huge turkey. This one emerged from the brush with Xena right behind it, flew about 30 yards away and landed, leaving the disappointed Newf behind. Just as well. I'm not sure she'd have been the victor in the encounter ...
Posted by Bob Benz at 7:56 PM | Comments (0)
June 9, 2002
This Michael Moore's no stupid white man ...
I've never been a big Dylan fan, and my knowledge of jazz is cursory, at best. But I heard a tune during the jazz show on WUOT the other night and made a note to order the CD.
It's the best thing I've heard since Gillian Welch's "Time (The Revelator)". Different, of course, but really ethereal and vast.
The CD is "Jewels and Binoculars: The Music of Bob Dylan." It's by Michael Moore (no, not that Michael Moore). This Moore is an American expatriate living in Amsterdam. He plays alto sax, clarinet, bass clarinet, melodica, bells.
I really had to fish around on the Internet to find a place to order a copy. Amazon didn't have it. I finally found it here. It was worth the hunt.
I really like the bass playing of Pittsburgh native Lindsey Horner. Without his bass backbone some of the tunes would fall apart like a jellyfish in the surf. But it all holds together with a delicate, haunting beauty.
I recommend this one highly ...
Posted by Bob Benz at 10:34 AM | Comments (0)
A shot of wild turkey before 9 a.m. ...
On weekends, I've been taking Xena to the lake early to beat the heat. She's a Newfie and doesn't deal well with Tennessee summers. On the way back from Melton Hill Lake yesterday morning, I saw a giant tom turkey a few dozen yards up the road from my truck, across from a horse farm that overlooks the Clinch River. The turkey was scurrying up the road, and I slowed to watch. I swear the sucker was as big as Xena. A fence on the left kept it from escaping, and the turkey finally decided the only way out was to take flight. It was like a C-130 lumbering aloft, clearing the fence and landing in the field on the other side.
Those morning hikes are awesome. No one out that early on weekends, and plent of squirrels, rabbits and geese for Xena to chase. Dew in the grass. And a shot of wild turkey ...
Posted by Bob Benz at 10:15 AM | Comments (0)
June 7, 2002
One mile east of the Papermill exit ...
I was returning home on Interstate 40 last night when I saw about four or five semis slowed to a crawl in the right lane. Strange. An acrid, burned-rubber smell drifted into my truck. I slowed to about 10 mph and came upon one of the most horrifying things I've seen in a long time. A man was lying in a fetal position on the highway while a woman ran toward him, screaming, crying. A mangled red SUV was about 30 yards away, off the road. It all happened so slowly, so strangely. I drifted past, noticing the glimmering broken glass covering the roadway. The Do Lung bridge scene in Apocalpyse Now came quickly to mind. Then adrenaline hit me. I pulled over, already past the accident, and fumbled for my cell phone. Misdialed. Dialed again. Was put on hold by the 911 system. A police car's lights approached in my sideview mirror. I sat stunned for a moment. Realized there was nothing to be done but gawk at this point. Shut off my cell phone. Pulled slowly back onto I-40, hands shaking, and continued on home.
I still don't know what happened. No report in this morning's paper. It was probably past their deadline. But the image of that woman and man on the Interstate won't leave. It reminds me of my reporter days, when I would "cover" a fatal accident. I always felt like a vulture circling carrion, and it always took me a week or two to flush the scene from my mind ...
The paper did have a story on Saturday about the crash. Turns out it was a kid, driving too fast, not wearing a seatbelt. The young woman I saw going toward his lifeless body was his 15-year-old girlfriend. It's interesting that another witness is quoted in the paper's account, describing the scene exactly the way I recall it. We must have pass it within seconds of each other.
Wear your damn seatbelt, folks.
Posted by Bob Benz at 8:27 AM | Comments (0)
June 6, 2002
We're running out of Ramones ...
"I can see how Liverpool gave us the Beatles, but I'll never figure out how Ann Arbor gave us Iggy and the Stooges."
-- Dee Dee Ramone
Posted by Bob Benz at 3:51 PM | Comments (0)
Jesus H. Christ ...
This one is funny on so many levels ...
1. ABC, the network that brought us the Victoria's Secret fashion special and so many sitcom crimes against common sense, is protecting us from using "Jesus" as an exclamation.
2. Jerry Falwell is deeply offended that ABC decided to bleep "Jesus," probably sensing an anti-Christian conspiracy instead of a muddled attempt to avoid offending Christians. I wonder if Jerry will hold the same opinion the next time someone says, "Jesus Christ! Get the hell out of my way." Bet he won't ... But then again, he's probably still talking to God about how the World Trade Center attack can be partially blamed on "... the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America." Jesus Christ! The dude's too much.
Maybe ABC should hire him as their new censor.
Posted by Bob Benz at 3:44 PM | Comments (0)
June 4, 2002
Evel's ready to jump again ...
When I was a kid, I though Evel Kneivel was the coolest thing on wheels. He inspired us the the loftiest heights of stupidity. We jumped our Big Wheels and bicycles over just about everything. Somewhere, I even have 8MM slow-motion film of my brother crashing and burning on a Big Wheel.
Now the man is planning a return with his longest jump ever. Can you say "nationally televised suicide"?
Posted by Bob Benz at 5:05 PM | Comments (4)