The
contestants
![](art/bob_cigar.jpg)
Bob Benz,
victim of false class consciousness, purveyor of cheap cigars.
![](art/glenn.jpg)
Glenn Franxman,
wannabe BattleBot champion, Alpha Geek
![](art/lara.jpg)
Lara Edge, failed
dancehall singer, prickly personality
![](art/jordy.jpg)
Steve "Jordy"
Jordan, escapee, Missoula School for Wayward Boys
![](art/herb.jpg)
Herb Himes, Wal-Mart
Greeter, past decoration champion
![](art/tony.jpg)
Tony Edge, Tiger
Woods impersonator, man about town
|
Cut to the chase: Show me the party invite!
Network TV
sinks to new low
with 'Survivor XII: Knoxville'
By
Ken Iption
Associated Press staff writer
![](art/bush_turkey.jpg) |
George
W. Bush, right, makes a cameo appearance on the debut episode
of Survivor XII: Knoxville, airing at 7
p.m. Saturday, Dec. 8 on CBS. |
I've been writing
television reviews for two decades.
I dozed through
Geraldo's journey into Al Capone's vault and cheered when a slackjawed
Klansman clunked him with a chair.
I bore witness
to Tony Danza's numerous crimes against the craft of acting.
I slowed down
to rubberneck as each of the "Seinfeld" co-stars crashed
and burned in their own series.
![](art/viva_montana.jpg) |
A pair
of misguided Montanans crash the Knoxville party, mumbling incoherently
about freedom from Big Sky Tyranny and injustices that Shaggy
committed against Scooby Doo. |
But "Survivor
XII: Knoxville" pushed me over the edge. I knew there was something
horribly, horribly wrong a few minutes into the debut episode. CBS
clearly miscalculated in this misguided effort to boost ratings
and revive the Survivor franchise.
The premise
was simple, or should have been. Toss a few dozen misguided misanthropes
into a room with a Christmas tree and see who emerges the champion.
Past efforts
resulted in cutthroat, entertaining
television. But this time, we are assaulted by crazed Montanans,
frightening Wal-Mart greeters, Alpha Geeks and an assortment of
other freaks.
Don't believe
me? Tune in for yourself and witness it yourself. Don't say I didn't
warn you ...
Show
me the party invite!
|