It’s time to tie one on our Christmas tree

It’s that time of year already. Time for the annual Benz and Edge Tree Extravaganza, complete with rampaging Xena yells, disgraced evergreens and assorted holiday absurdity.

This year’s party features a special treat. Music by Sara Schwabe and her Yankee Jass Band. It’s gonna be way cool. Be there or be square.

Here are the details …

  • Who: The Benz and Edge’s
  • What: Our 15th annual Christmas tree desecration party, in which assorted stooges put homemade, stupendously cool decorations on our unsuspecting evergreen. We have only one rule: You CAN’T buy the decoration. Also, remember that children and vegetarians are invited to the party. Ornaments should be rated "G" or "PG."
  • Where: 11517 Hardin Valley Road. I-40 to Pellissippi Parkway (toward Oak Ridge). Take the Hardin Valley Road exit off Pellissippi Parkway. Go left at the light, onto Hardin Valley. Go about 2.4 miles, past the elementary school and Steele Road on the right. Our house is the third driveway on the right after you pass Steele Road. We’ll have it lit up, but watch closely. It can be tough to spot.
    Lost? Call 691-7731 or 604-7731.

  • Important: We will have valet parking to avoid a repeat of The Stuck in the Mud Incident of 2000. You can either pull into the driveway and your car will be parked, or you can park at Sims store (near the elementary school, right before Steele Road) and you will be driven up to the party.
  • When: Saturday, Dec. 11 at 7 p.m. Children and vegetarians are welcome.
  • Why: Why not, wise guy?
  • How: Make your own decoration. We’ll have beer, Spiney’s infamous margaritas, non-alcoholic beverages and vats of steaming green chile. Extra beverages and/or food will be welcome but aren’t required.

    Now Playing: O Tannenbaum from the album A Charlie Brown Christmas by Vince Guaraldi Trio

  • 11 replies on “It’s time to tie one on our Christmas tree”

    1. Actually, Evil Santa will be at the party. He’s an old college friend of mine. I’ll rough him up a bit for denying you this holiday cheer …

    2. The forces are currently conspiring against me. I sense evil afoot. Don’t think we’ll be there after all, dammit.

      BTW…I love that Guaraldi album. I mostly licensed to it while working on your site, with some healthy doses of Van Morrison, Michael Hedges, and some crappy yet wierdly comforting pop hits from the mid-70s worked in cause I could.

      I don’t know what that explains, if anything.

    3. Hmm. That music shuffle explains a lot …

      Drag that you can’t make it. We really need to meet in the middle at some point and have a beer. Maybe during the holidays? I’m taking a few weeks off and might be up for a road trip to Birmingham … Been wanting to see the civil rights museum there.

    4. Yep…the music is integral. While listening to “Baker Street” and “I’ve Seen All Good People” (yeah, some 80s nostalgia too) for the umpteenth time, I found myself babbling Perl incoherently to my children, who simply asked me for some hot chocolate and a bedtime story…I swore to never do that to myself, or them, again.

      That’d be great if it works out…as you know the Civil Rights Museum is not too far from my current place of employ, though I am taking a goodly chunk of vacation time around Christmas. I myself am not a civil rights icon, though I once held the elevator door open for a vegetarian.

      If you don’t make it down, the wife and I have been wanting to get up in your neck of the woods for a while now, so maybe we can work something out eventually.

      Despite being southern bred, I remain, of course, northern born, and really require slightly colder weather than I get here, to function at peak efficiency. My wife, being a cajun, dons the garlic and downs at least a quart of red wine at the mere mention of snow.

    5. Alas, we will not be traveling from our half-unpacked house in Arizona. Have a sip of Spiney margarita for me, Bob.
      Chris S., I’m with your wife on hating snow. I don’t like any weather that involves temperatures below 60 degrees. I, too, hail from the Gulf Coast. It’s in the blood, I think.

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